100 Questions to Ask Your Parents While You Still Can

Most of us grow up assuming we will always have time to ask the questions we keep meaning to ask. We imagine a long afternoon, unhurried, where everything gets said. That afternoon rarely arrives on its own.

The questions below are a starting place. You do not need to ask all of them. You do not need to ask them in order. What matters is that you start asking — and that you make a recording so the answers are not lost.

Grab your phone, sit with your parent, and let the conversation take you where it wants to go.

Childhood and Early Life

1. What is your earliest memory?
2. What was your childhood home like?
3. What town or neighborhood did you grow up in, and what was it like back then?
4. Who were your closest friends as a child?
5. What did you do for fun when you were young?
6. What was school like for you?
7. What was your favorite subject in school — and your least favorite?
8. Did you have any nicknames growing up?
9. What did you want to be when you grew up?
10. What is a childhood memory that still makes you laugh?
11. Was there a teacher or adult outside your family who made a difference in your life?
12. What were summers like when you were a kid?
13. Did your family have any traditions around holidays or seasons?
14. What did your family do on weekends?
15. What is something you got away with as a child that your parents never found out about?

Family and Heritage

16. What do you know about your parents — who they were, where they came from?
17. What are your own parents like? What do you remember most about them?
18. Do you know anything about your grandparents or great-grandparents?
19. Where did our family originally come from?
20. Are there any family stories that have been passed down — things you were told growing up?
21. What was your relationship with your siblings like?
22. Is there a relative from earlier generations that you think I should know about?
23. What was the hardest thing your family went through when you were young?
24. Did your family have strong values or beliefs that shaped how you were raised?
25. What did your family struggle with, and how did they get through it?

Adolescence and Coming of Age

26. What were you like as a teenager?
27. What music did you love when you were young?
28. What was the first concert or live event you ever attended?
29. What was your first job, and what did you learn from it?
30. Did you ever get into real trouble as a young person?
31. What did you dream about doing with your life at 16? At 20?
32. Who were the most important people in your life as a teenager?
33. What was going on in the world when you were growing up, and how did it affect you?
34. What is something you wish someone had told you when you were young?
35. What was the biggest decision you made before you were 25?

Love and Relationships

36. How did you meet Mom/Dad? Tell me the whole story.
37. What did you think when you first met them?
38. What did you love most about them early on?
39. What was your first date like?
40. When did you know they were the one?
41. What has been the hardest part of your marriage or long relationship?
42. What has kept you together through difficult times?
43. What advice would you give someone just starting a serious relationship?
44. Is there a love story from earlier in our family — grandparents, great-grandparents — that you know?
45. What does love look like after a long time together, in your experience?

Work and Career

46. What jobs did you have over your lifetime?
47. What work are you most proud of?
48. Was there a career path you wanted but did not take? Why?
49. What is the most important thing you learned from working?
50. Did you ever have a boss or mentor who changed the way you saw things?
51. What was the hardest professional situation you ever faced?
52. If you could have done something completely different for work, what would it have been?
53. What did you sacrifice for your career, and was it worth it?
54. What do you think made you good at what you did?
55. What would you tell someone just starting out in their career?

Raising a Family

56. What was it like when I was born?
57. What do you remember about my early childhood that I would not know?
58. What were you most afraid of as a parent?
59. What did you get right as a parent? What do you wish you had done differently?
60. What was the proudest moment you ever had as a parent?
61. What was the most difficult thing about raising children?
62. Is there something you wanted to tell me or show me but never found the right moment?
63. What values were you most trying to pass on?
64. What did you learn about yourself from being a parent?
65. What do you hope for me and for my children?

Values, Beliefs, and What Matters

66. What do you believe in — about life, about people, about the world?
67. Has your faith or spirituality changed over your lifetime?
68. What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
69. What do you think makes a good person?
70. Is there something you stood for throughout your life that you are proud of?
71. Have your values changed significantly from when you were young?
72. What is something you once believed that you no longer believe?
73. What does a life well-lived look like to you?
74. What do you think matters most when everything else is stripped away?
75. What would you want people to say about you at the end of your life?

Milestones and Turning Points

76. What is the single proudest moment of your life?
77. What was the hardest thing you ever went through?
78. Was there a moment that changed the direction of your life?
79. What is a decision you made that you have always been grateful for?
80. Is there a decision you wish you could go back and change?
81. What surprised you most about how your life turned out?
82. What is something you did that took real courage?
83. What is the greatest adventure you ever had?
84. Was there a time you failed and had to start over? What happened?
85. What are you most grateful for when you look back?

Wisdom and Advice

86. What do you know now that you wish you had known at 30?
87. What would you tell your younger self?
88. What is the best piece of advice anyone ever gave you?
89. What do people waste too much time worrying about?
90. What is something most people get wrong about life?
91. What has helped you most in hard times?
92. How do you deal with regret?
93. What does resilience look like to you?
94. What is the secret to a long and happy life, in your experience?
95. What do you hope the people you love remember about you?

Messages for the Future

96. What do you want your grandchildren to know about who you are?
97. Is there something you have never said out loud that you want someone to know?
98. What do you hope for the world your grandchildren will grow up in?
99. Is there a story — from your life or our family — that you think should never be forgotten?
100. What do you want to say to the people you love, right now, in your own words?

How to Use This List

You do not need to record all 100 questions in one sitting. Pick a theme — childhood, work, relationships — and spend 20 or 30 minutes on it. Come back another time for the next theme. The conversations will be richer for not being rushed.

If your parent is reluctant, start at number one and just talk. Most people find that once a memory surfaces, others follow naturally. The hardest part is always beginning.

A service like LifeEcho can guide your parent through questions like these over the phone — without any app, any scheduling pressure, or any technology burden. The recordings are saved and shared with your family automatically.

The answers to these questions exist right now, in the people you love. They will not exist forever. Ask while you can.